Unchain Your Mind | You Don't Know My Name

It was 2004 and the night of my HS Senior Prom. My friends and I were sitting in a breakfast restaurant when I recognized a guy from my church sitting in a booth with two other guys. I we his unexpected compliment, I didn't know what to say. 

So his friend tells me, "Sing something then." 
"Right here?" I asked.
"Yes."
"I can't sing in this restaurant full of people! It'll be too loud and my friend are right over there. I'm too embarrassed." I shyly replied.
The guy looked disappointed and told me, "Remember this: You never know who you're standing in front of. When someone asks you to sing, SING. You could miss a lot of opportunities trying to avoid embarrassment."

That guy, and his friend, worked closely with Kirk Franklin...

10yrs later, I was still kicking myself and wondering, "What if...". I have known several people to go on to have extremely successful musical careers (particularly in the Gospel industry) and I am more than overjoyed for them. I recognize my gift of poetry and rejoice in others' musical success unashamed. Which brings me to main topic:

I've wanted to address this subject for a while now but was unsure of how to approach it for fear of losing people that I genuinely care deeply about. I chose to write this, because I don't think those feelings are reciprocated. This is not to hurt any feelings but hopefully it will help someone understand a little better.

Dear Celebrity Buddy (since we're clearly not friends):

You don't know my name. We used to be friends. I understand that we grow older and "life happens". You don't get to talk to people as much as you used to because you're busy trying to make your dreams come true and pay bills simultaneously. If you're lucky, your dreams are paying the bills. 

I'm proud to say that I know you, but afraid of being called a 'name dropper'. Your success does not equate to my preferential treatment and I've never expected, nor desired, that.  I just want to support you. When I sporadically text you to say, "I'm just checking on you", there is no hidden agenda. I don't want anything from you but a reply. We have always sporadically chatted, but it never changed the dynamics of our relationship until someone **ahem** changed. I don't want to 'come up' by holding on to your coattail. I don't want to talk to you every day. What I do want, is to support you without being viewed as a fan. To benevolently love you without being questioned. To communicate with you as a person and not an artist. Remember that I know YOU and not the concept of you that so many others idolize. Don't always dismiss the ones that were around before {{they}} knew your name...

I still love you, buddy...

Signed,
A loving supporter

You can't take everybody with you; but there are some that you should keep in your corner. Just because they don't always talk to you, doesn't mean that they don't talk {pray} for you.

Unchain Your Mind | I'll Keep My Shoes On...Thank You

I foresee some upset people if they ever read this post. But it is what it is.

I recently posted a broad, yet slightly lengthy, status on Facebook about my experience and view on friends and friendship.

Bottom line: Everybody is not meant to be your friend for a lifetime!!

People define friendship differently, so I’m not knocking them. Out of my entire toddler and adolescent years, I have only remained in constant contact with one person. We’re not best friends, we don’t talk every day, and I probably can’t even tell you the latest current events in her life. But when we pick up the phone and chat, it’s like nothing ever happened. We catch each other up, laugh at our old inside jokes, reminisce, and enjoy conversation. This is basically how it goes with the six people that I consider true friends.

While I was in high school, I hung out with the same ten girls. We had a “clique” (even though we hated that term) name and everything. They were my friends…in high school. We still communicate from time to time, but they knew the teenage me, not the adult me. I’ve grown, matured, experienced some things that they haven’t and may never have to experience, and probably developed a completely different lifestyle than what they may be used to. Who knows... My love for them hasn’t changed, but I can’t call them my friend because they don’t know me.

I would honestly risk my life for each and every one of my friends and not think twice about it because I feel like they would do the same for me. They’ve either seen me grow into the adult that I am (and lived through it with me because I’m sure I blew up their phone!), or met me after I accepted me for who I finally found myself to be and still loved me.  Don’t get it twisted, I didn’t find myself to be anything ungodly or outrageous. Life’s situations just have a way of maturing you differently, and sometimes faster, than others.

Just because you were a friend for a moment, doesn’t make you a friend forever. I outgrow people very quickly. Without judging them, I see that we just aren’t on the same page in life and I don’t feel like putting on a different hat just to talk to you everytime because I’m afraid of what you might think of me if a curse word slips out or I tell you that my best friend is gay. I don’t need someone to tell me that my love life is moving too fast, non-existent, or in need of a little spice. I love you, but I gotta love you from a distance because I can’t let the foolery and childishness get to me.

So with that being said, some people will find themselves just like they assume my love life is…non-existent. You won’t understand my life until you walk a day in my shoes. And I don’t plan on taking them off to prove anything to you.