Open Doors

"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations."

 

Well, the title definitely speaks for itself! God is opening doors and I can see where I am headed!! I don't want to make this blog too long, but there is just so much to say! Let me first start off by saying that I failed to mention in the previous post that my mother has decided to move from Texas all the way to North Carolina so that she can help me out. She is truly a blessing because she doesn't have to do it, but she wants to. Because I'm in the military, she will be able to travel with me wherever I'm stationed and now I don't have to worry about some stranger watching my child!

Now, on to some even MORE exciting news! Last night, 16Jul2011, I went to a local concert with LeAndria Johnson (winner of BET's Sunday Best Season 3) and Kim Burrell. I didn't have anybody to go with me because everyone was either busy or didn't have the money to buy a $20 ticket...but I digress.

If y'all don't know, I'm a BIG twitter girl (follow me @UnhurdChyld) so I had been tweeting about the even all day! When I got inside, I was on the 6th row b/c the first five were reserved for VIP. I was trying to figure out why I didn't get a VIP ticket but I didn't know that there were any being sold. I tweeted all the way up until LeAndria Johnson got on stage because the people that they had performing for the pre-show were....well....they weren't a LeAndria or Kim. That's putting it nicely. I was hoping that LeAndria or Kim were reading my tweets so I made sure to include one hoping that I would be able to one of them.

One of the ushers told me that it was highly unlikely that I was going to get to meet Kim Burrell because she was a "diva" and likes to get in and out. So I pretty much ruled that out. Well, LeAndria got the fire started and Kim Burrell came and blew the roof off!! When Kim got on stage, she did a little talking, praying, and then she said, "There's one person in here that's been tweeting all day. Is there an UnhurdChyld in here?" I jumped out and shouted "That's me! That's me!!" She said, "Well come on up here honey so I can give you a hug!" It felt so surreal y'all!

As the night went on, Kim said she wanted 30people up on stage as her choir to sing her song "Holy Ghost". I was up there FAST! The night went on and when it was all over, I was headed toward the front to speak to someone I knew and guess who I ran into?!  .....

 Lil Mo!!!

She is soo cool  y'all! We took one pic before this one and I didn't put up the peace sign she was like, "You're supposed to put up the peace sign girl! Take another one!" LOL.

{{FAST FORWARD}}...

I went outside to buy Kim's CD and get it signed and then we got a picture!

To the young lady that told me Kim Burrell was a Diva: ***GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC WHILE BLINDFOLDED!!*** Kim made a little convo with me and asked about my baby and everything. It was an absolutely awesome experience. Lastly, I went to see LeAndria Johnson. I wait for two hours after the concert last year to meet her and I never did, but this year...

 

 Nuff said!!

It was truly a night to remember and I thank God for it all. Sine this post appears to already be ridiculously long, I will explain what this had to do with my future in the next post k? Be blessed!! 

READ, RATE, COMMENT, & SUBSCRIBE!!

No News is Good News

I want to start off by saying hello to my new blog followers. I was supposed to be doing better with updating this thing, but once again, life got busy.

There hasn't been much change in my life...well, nothing really worth sharing. I'm trying to get back into writing my poetry because I know that the things that I've been through and am going through are going to make for some good poetry. It's just like I'm having writer's block. I know what I want to write about but it doesn't come out like I want it to on paper.

As soon as I get myself together though, I know I'll have some phenomenal work and can't wait for y'all to read it. In the meantime, I'm trying my hardest to keep the faith in all situations.

In other news, this will be my first weekend without my Pooh Bear and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself! I'm going to miss him soo much. Even though I know that his dad isn't going to do everything the same way as I do, I just know that I have to trust that my baby will be taken care of. I'm praying HARD!

Gratefulness

It's already been a week and as every day passes, I am amazed at the blessings that God continues to pour my way. It is absolutely overwhelming!!

Before I get started, make sure you are following me on Twitter! www.twitter.com/UnhurdChyld !

This week has been very successful. I mentioned that I had been on my hustle in a previous post and by that, I do mean LEGAL hustling. I was already braiding hair as a side job (which I still do on occasion and if time permits), and now I've taken on Mary Kay as well. Lord knows I was skeptical about it, but I've been doing a really good job with it and I have great clientele! If you're interested in purchasing product, check out my website www.marykay.com/angel_e you can order from there and get free shipping!

T-3 days (The "T" stands for Today...in case you didn't know ;-)) and my mommy will be here! I'm so excited because I finally got the guest bedroom prepared for her! She has a brand new mattress and I thank God for a church member that gave me a queen bed frame (regular price is $50!). Since I was only left with the bed that I've had since I was 15, I was willing to let my mother take my bed while I took the couch. But God worked it out and I was able to get her new mattresses.

But enough about that. I don't want to make these posts too long because I'm afraid y'all will get bored, so I try to save some for the next post. But I'll just do a quick ramble...I haven't had any real help with my son since my mom visited for two weeks in January so this is going to such a blessing. My Pooh Bear finally decided to quit being lazy and now he's holding his own bottle (Go Pooh Bear!!)...., I'm past ready to move back to Texas to be with real friends. I feel like I have no support system out here and at times, things get really difficult. I guess that's when I should take it all to God in prayer. 

And with that said, it brings to my last rambling thought. I've been trying to strengthen my relationship with Christ and this journey hasn't been the easiest but it feels so great to know that I'm being obedient and listening. I go to church with anticipation of a blessing and praise on my mind but it seems like when I get there, something is holding me back most of the time and I can't fully let go. I'll have to go into more detail later though...my eyelids are closing. Until next time...

Life's Lessons

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”

Like I stated in the previous blog, I'm going to catch y'all up on a few things that have happened in my life.

For starters, I had a baby!! December 12, 2011 was one the most memorable days of life and so far, the BEST day of life to date. I delivered my son at 4:04a.m. and it's been a huge, yet joyful, learning experience. I have laughed and I have cried, but I wouldn't trade this joy for anything in the world.

Without going too deep into detail (for the sake of embarrassing anyone), I recently became a single mother. I have been married for a little over 4yrs now and it is a little saddening to know that it will be ending soon. However, I know that it is what's best for me and my child. In 2008, I wrote a note on my facebook about a friend of mine, Holley Wimunc, that was murdered by her husband (July 2008), dismembered, and then burned. At the end of that note, I encouraged anyone that was in an abusive relationship, whether it be physical, mental, verbal, or sexual, to get out of it and seek help because you never know when your last day on earth could be. Just because things can see okay for a few days, weeks, or even months, doesn't necessarily mean that the change is permanent. 

Having my son really opened my eyes up to a lot of things that I wasn't willing to truly accept in my marriage and I know that I deserve better. Some people may not agree with my decision, but I finally reached a point to where I don't care because I don't live to please them. Things haven't been easy with just me and my baby, but I keep my focus on Christ and the blessings have continued to flow.

I think I've said enough for today so I'll try and play catch up again tomorrow. Love ya!

I'm Still Here!

I know that it's been forever...technically a little over a year since I last posted (don't judge me), but I promise that I'm going to do better! A lot of things have changed in my life since I last told y'all that I was pregnant and I can't wait to fill you all in.

But to give you a small preview, I finished an entire year of school (college, that is), had a handsome baby boy, recently pending a divorce, and staying on my hustle! LOL. And yes, I'm still writing. That's how I keep my sanity! I just haven't been performing lately, but I can't wait to step back on a stage and get up with some of my poetry fam.

However, it's extremely late and I have to wake up extra early in the a.m. to get the started but stay on the look out k? Make sure you're following me on twitter too! Now that school is out, I have a little more free time and things are starting to fall into a regular schedule. *Sigh of relief*...I have truly missed blogging. LET'S GO!

It's Been A Long Time

I know it's been a while, and it's most definitely all my fault to leave y'all hanging. So let me get straight to it. Lot's of things have been going on in this world of mine but I'll save the best news for last. Yes, I'm still writing. I just haven't posted a video in a while. O wait, I take that back, I DID post a video on YouTube! It was about a month ago so make sure you go and check it out! www.youtube.com/AlabasterDiva But in other news... I had an audition with Cardiair Geezus and I got the contract to become part of his label!! Real Life Muzic! However, because I'm in the military, things were a little uncertain of how long I would be here and I've I'd be able to finish the contract. So I decided not to sign that contract for not only that reason, but because I prayed about and I didn't really feel like that's where God was leading me at the time. Don't get me wrong, poetry and music is more of my passion than anything else, but I had to listen to what God was telling me. On top of that, I'm also glad I didn't sign the contract or else I'd probably be dealing with a lot of stress right now. Why?.......because I'm PREGNANT! This is my husband and I first child and we are sooo excited! I thank God for even thinking enough of me to give us a child. So of course, be expecting a piece about this! God bless!!

Bust A Move!!

OMG! Are you guys ready to hear this awesome news that I have?! Well, let me start off by telling you how this came about.

If you scroll down a couple of entries, you'll see a picture of me and Cardiair Geezus(CEO of Real Life Muzic http://www.reallifemuzic.com ). If you haven't read that blog, I was talking about how he told me to stop by his studio. Well, a few weeks ago, I checked out the studio and Cardiair finally had a chance to hear my vocals. I absolutely LOVE the Arts. Not just poetry, but I love acting, singing, writing...everything. I had an absolute blast at the studio and couldn't wait to go back.

Due to a current Army job reassignment, I've been really busy and unable to make it out to any of the poetry events out here in Fayetteville. But I spoke with a fellow poet on facebook last night and she told me that she hit up Cardiair's studio and he was talking about so much talent that people have but how they're kind of underexposed. She told me that Cardiair mentioned my name as one of those people. I was shocked and humbled at the same time. So I texted Cardiair and asked him when would be the next time he was gonna have me in the studio.

We shared a couple of text messages back and forth and I made sure he truly understood how much I love to sing. I most certainly didn't expect Cardiair's next text message to read what it did. To make a long story short, the last thing Cardiair said to me that had me completely floored was, "Well how would you feel about becoming an RLM artist." I was so shocked and excited that I just held the phone and read the text ,message several times because I couldn't even believe it was real!

I have a couple of friends that are in the music business and I contacted them today and they gave me lots of insight as to how to deal with this situation in a proper and intelligent manner instead of jumping the gun. But I must say, I'm EXTREMELY excited and I can't wait to see where God is taking me!

Picture Perfected

You mean to tell me that I didn't blog the entire month of December!Well it's 2010 and I've got to get on the grind! Last night we had and AWESOME watch night service to bring in the New Year and even though I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, there ARE a few things that I'd like to improve on this year.

I missed the last @ttic we had in December so I didn't get a video, but I did write a lil bit and I'd love your feedback! I've gotta get busy on this writing thing because I'm coming into too many great poets!I've gotta step my game up! I've got tons of concepts in my head, I just haven't written on them yet!My schedules been kind of busy and I don't see it lightening up any time soon.

But I don't wanna hold you, here's my piece and don't forget to subscribe to me on youtube! www.youtube.com/AlabasterDiva and follow me on twitter k? www.twitter.com/UnhurdChyld .

Picture Perfected

I've called my friends,played on the internet, watched a movie, and even tried to take a nap just to get you off of my mind.

Out of 86,400 seconds in a day, I'm guessing...43,200 are filled with thinking of your phone calls and our late night conversations/Me mentally stimulating you with my intimate questions, and let's not mention all of your sexual suggestions./Got me dreaming of your hugs and your passionate kisses/Pleasing me physically while I visually personify your text messages./But the only thing wrong with this is...I have a mister and you have a missus.

Our mouths say we're friends but my mind is subdued in otherwise/because I know so much about you that I've developed this small attraction and my actions are beginning to speak louder than my words./Like, making sure you got that good morning text message I sent and making those pet names like "boo","honey",and "love" appear so innocent./Well, they were..../At first/Until our conversation got so diverse that we immersed ourselves in our own lucid universe of just you...and me./Knowing that the reality is that the only thing wrong with this picture is...I have a mister and you have a missus.

We talk every single day and even more often when she makes you mad./But you know that if I had you, I'd always add to your happiness./But I guess I'll just embrace the thought of us in my mind for now because somewhere/somehow/I caught feelings for you./So when you call me tellin me what y'all going through, I'm glad to be the voice that comforts you./Your transparency spoils me deeper when you always tell me the truth because of the unconditional love you know I have for you./But boo, this cycle can't continue because to be honest with you/ every time my cell phone vibrates, I'm disappointed when the Caller I.D. reads his name instead of you.

To face facts, I can't act like the exact emotion that I've developed for this predicament isn't jealousy./You see, she still sees you every night when y'all fall asleep side by side/ and I know it ain't right, but it's just not fair that I can't be next to you to breathe your same air./I want to simulate all of your senses./Like feeling your hands mapping over my body/smelling your chocolate skin just to check if it compliments the sweetness that my lips taste on your neck/and my mind misleads my ears to hear that I love you that you never said just to see the look in your eyes when you watch me saw my hips.

The word compatibility is too vague to describe you and me because what we have could last infinities of eternities./But we were both honest from the start.I knew another woman had your heart./So I'm left to pretend with these feelings I'll have to contend because if I ever get to show you just how real and pure my love is, you'll know that the only thing wrong with this picture is,

You're not my mister and...I'm not your missus.

~UnhurdChyld

A Thankful Heart...

"The unthankful heart...discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!" ~Henry Ward Beecher

So many thing I'm thankful for!But let me first start by saying that none of this would be possible without the grace of God. Wanna hear about my experience at the @ttic NC?! Once again, I'm a week late, but I didn't forget about y'all!

I didn't think that I was going to be performing...so I only went to hear some great poets. Well, it certainly was a nice surprise to find out that I was and guess who was the feature poet that night?! Rebecca Dupas!! If you don't know about her, www.myspace.com/rebeccadupas check her out. The girl is SICK! But I digress...lol

I was the first poet in the line up,so I was EXTRA nervous.Thank God I had a chance to get some of my jitters out the week prior.But guess why the video was recorded this time!!*looks down at toes shamefully*...:I went to the even straight from work and forgot to pack my camera the night prior. I KNOW!What a loser! But I'm trying to get better. I did have a friend there that took some piccz for me though!

After I did my piece, I got more compliments and kudos than I did the last time. This was probably because I felt a little more comfortable and owned the stage and was confident in what I was saying. Believe it or not, the audience can sense your nervousness, you have to be mentally prepared to do poetry.It's practically a monologue.Pull your audience into what you're talking about and make them feel the way you felt when you wrote the piece.

As I took a seat at my table, along with another friend/poet, a lady came to me during intermission and said, "I loved your poem! You should really get a CD cuz I would buy it girl." I smiled, from ear to ear, and gave her an earful of thank yous. But the best compliment came from Ms. Rebecca Dupas. She came up to me and placed her hand on my back and said, "You did a great job on your piece. I loved it."....Now let's be real...my head got big for about 2.5 seconds before I quickly said a "Thank you Lord" in my head. Even when I receive a compliment like that, I have to remain humble because as I stated in the beginning, none of this would be possible without Him.

Me and poet Rebecca Dupas

I thank God for this gift and the opportunities he's given me to meet some great poets.Oh! Did I mention that we had a male feature poet too?Yes, Rebecca Dupas was the first female feature we've had at the @ttic but Soulful Jones also came!That boy RIPPED it! I had to get both of their CD's and of course, I don't regret it not one bit. With that said, I've been inspired and motivated to continue writing and letting my voice be heard. I love my gift :-). Toodles!!

Me and Soulful Jones

Wanna see more piccz?! http://www.myspace.com/unhurdchyld

You Never Know...Who Knows You

After an ABUNDANCE of procrastination, I am finally writing this blog and entire week later. I should have just done it the night that it happened. In the last entry, I mentioned that I met a guy that said he wanted to hear one of pieces and I expressed how I needed to memorize a piece soon. Well, I DID! But let me start from the beginning first.

The guy that I met at the @ttic was Cardiair Geezus, CEO of Real Life Muzic. Of course, I didn't know this at the time, and I most certainly didn't know that the next event where I'd be doing my first memorized piece was going to be one of the events he owned and was going to be attending!

I was soo nervous, but it was really nice to see a few poets there that I knew. So when they called my name, I went up on stage and did my thing. I was hoping I didn't appear too nervous and I didn't stumble over a single word. I did, however, forever about eight lines, lol. But nobody knew because the piece still flowed perfectly. The only thing that I was hoping for was that I was good enough.*sidenote* {{I had ALL intentions of recording this very first performance so I could show y'all and when I got there, apparently my camera battery was dead when I thought I was charging at home the entire time!!...UGH!!}}

After the entire event was over, I was mingling with some other poets when Cardiair came up to me(not knowing it was my first time reciting a piece) and told me that was poem was really nice and gave me some very constructive criticism. When I told him it was my first time, he was like, "Well then A+ for your performance tonight! You did a great job!".He also invited by his studio, which I will soon be checking out!

Nobody seemed to know that it was my first time unless I told them. A few other poems gave me compliments also and it made me feel so good and so much better about my work!Now I'm writing and memorizing like crazy! I'm hoping that I'll get a slot on the roster for the @ttic next week. We shall see and I'll definitely let y'all know. I already know there will be a long story behind it if I don't get a slot because I have spoken with the host and he "said" that he'd put me on the roster. Let's just say that the poetry world can sometimes resemble the music industry...lots of wannabe's that think CEO along with their name just looks nice, but aren't really willing to put in the work......but that's a whole 'nother story. Toodles!!

Me & Cardiair Geezus CEO/Producer/Songwriter/Artist/Poet

http://www.reallifemuzic.com/

Like Riding a Bike...Sorta...

OMG! It seems like it's been forever since I updated my blog! I'm so sorry! So much has been going on but at the same time, nothing much has been going on.

My husband returned from Iraq(YES!!), but it seemed to have happened at one of the most inconvenient times!I know that sounds harsh, but that's only the truth. I was JUST getting onto the poetry scene and getting to know so many people and connections, and I kind of had to put it on hold for a minute so I could focus on what's important: my marriage and family. So it's been approximately a month and a half and I haven't been to an open mic or anything. The last blog that I posted was about my experience at the very first @ttic, NC. It's only held once a month, so I missed the one in September. But I certainly didn't miss the October one! It was absolutely off the chain and the feature poetry was BET J's Lyric Soul Cafe poet 13 of Nazareth. This dude was HOTT!

I went with one of my poet friends, Prosperous Soul, and she introduced me to some other great poets and I got even more connections! It's so hard to explain the feeling that you get when you're around people that you share a common passion about something. Have you ever experienced that? I never thought that I'd find my true passion and this is really it. But there's only one problem with this little situation.

I HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK! Well, it's not really writer's block. It's just that I feel like I'm not as good of a poet as some other poets, so it discourages me a little bit. On top of that, to be an effective poet, I need to memorize some of my stuff! That's one of the other reasons that I haven't gotten behind the mic anymore. When you meet poets that are veterans and have serious connections, they want to hear some of your stuff! Luckily, I haven't been put on the spot yet, but I have been told that they want to hear some of my stuff soon. I am my worst critic, so I'm trying to climb back up on my bike and start pedaling. I promise I'll have some videos and more excited new soon. I'm at work right now and I have to go do what I get paid for! Toodles!!

It's A Family Affair

,

I'm a couple of days late because I'm STILL on a high! I had an awesome night on Thursday! As you all know, I'm stationed at Ft. Bragg. A friend of mine told me about a lil poetry session that would be going on here and said that she thought I should go. When I looked more into it, BETJ Lyricist Beny Blaq and Komplex were hosting the @ttic here at Ft. Bragg!

Now, if you don't what the @ttic is, it's only like one of THE largest poetry spots in D.C. Look it up if you're ever in the area. So when I got there, there was a small lil social from 7pm-8pm and I asked if they were going to have an open mic or if there were just featured poets. He told me that I could go ahead and sign my name on the list(basically, the answer was no, but he gave me a chance). I guess there was some previous sign up list before the show and I didn't know about it.

Unfortunately, I didn't have my poem memorized, but I got up there and did my poem, "Taxi Cab Girl" and the audience loved it! So of course, this is only my second time behind the mic...but it felt GREAT! Now I just can't wait to memorize my stuff. I'm working on it now! But to make a long story short, listening to all of those poets made me feel like I was at HOME. I felt like I found my family! I mean the energy in the building was just so unreal that I honestly could have cried. If you don't have a TRUE passion for something, then you wouldn't know what I'm talking about.

So during intermission, I was approached by another female, while I was leaving the restroom and she said, "You're Unhurd Chyld...Taxi Cab Girl right?" I told her, "Yes." She said, "You did an AWESOME job! I'm Prosperous Soul. I really liked your poem." I remembered her and her poem and she said that she'd talk to me after the show. I had to opportunity to meet Komplex,Beny Blaq, and a few others after the show and then Prosperous Soul and I talked for a while. She introduced me to this poet named Solow. He is also the CEO of Solow Ent. They travel all around NC and a few other places.

I had the PRIVILEGE of going out to eat with some absolutely awesome poets: Beny Blaq,Solow,Prosperous Soul, and Soul Secure. I feel like I have found a whole new family and it feels great to be welcomed with open arms. Solow is now my mentor and I can't WAIT to see where this journey is taking me. God is just so awesome. More stories of poetry slams and open mics will be coming soon! I will have this stuff memorized in NO TIME!

Me and Beny Blaq

Not A Virgin...Anymore

I wasn't too sure on what I was going to do this Sunday evening after church. This was the last day of my three day weekend and I didn't really want to spend it at home on the couch napping and later regretting not going anywhere. I hopped on the internet(where I always seem to be) and tried to tweek my new poetry page on myspace --> http://www.myspace.com/unhurdchyld <-- sorry...I digressed. LOL

So since I had poetry on my mind, I went to a website I found a couple of days ago to see if there were any open mike sessions in my area on Sundays. There was one less that 5mins. from my place. "I'll go check it out since I've never been to one." Is what I told myself.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a SINGLE soul to go with me! I wanted someone to go with me cuz I knew I wasn't going to know anyone there and what if I actually got up the guts to do one of my own poems? Who would even say that they were there to hear it? I didn't have anyone to record me either; just in case I wanted to put it on YouTube or something. People are going to get tired of me sitting on my living room floor reading from my book.LOL.

Since all of my friends were busy, I decided to go alone. I was REALLY nervous and had NO intention of getting up there. But I made sure I tucked my journal in my purse "just in case"...hehehe. It started off a little awkward to me cuz there were some really interesting people there and I heard pieces that matched the same description. But who am I to judge? I just expected more spoken word. I won't bash anyone and their feelings, interpretations, or writing styles.

A lady came and sat at the table with me and asked if I was reading. I told her no because I would be too nervous and I haven't read my poetry in front of a crowd before. "Go ahead and sign up! You're going to be nervous at first, but you'll be fine and it's fun!", is what she told me. So I put my name on the list. I was halfway down the second column on the list of people. I had time to get my nerves and things together.

As it got closer to time for me to get on the stage, my stomach began to slowly rise. It finally reached it's destination of my THROAT when the host said, "Let's welcome our virgin, Unhurd Chyld." Virgin, of course, meaning first time reader LOL. I did "I Wanna Write A Poem" (If you haven't heard it, check my YouTube but I'll be posting it on here soon.)and the people LOVED it! I was so excited to know that they laughed when I said something funny...my husband will tell you that I'm not the best when it's comes to telling jokes. I got lots of compliments when I was done.

Before I left, the lady that was sitting at my table gave me her card and told me to give her a call because she wanted me to come to her open mike. Her name is Lady S and she hosts one at a different spot on Thursday nights! I was mad excited and told her thank you and I would definitely be there.

So, my poetry cherry was popped and I feel sooo much more confident about my poetry now! I can't wait for the poetry slam on Tuesday night and another open mike on Thursday!My journey has JUST begun!

No Love Lost...Just Lesson Learned

I uploaded my third video onto YouTube today but I got some other thoughts that are weighing heavy on my mind.

Have you ever had so many thoughts scrambling around in your head that you just couldn't even get it all together to make reasonable explanations? That's how I feel right now. There are TONS of things on my mind and I hope that you can just bare with me as I spill them all out. Let me first start off by telling you the kind of person that I am. When I love, I love HARD. Yuh...so cliche cuz it seems like everybody says that. Well let me say this, when I support people, I support them in EVERYTHING that they do because everyone needs that extra push.

I had a friend that is a back-up dancer for Lil Wayne. She came to NC and got me tickets to come and see her. I personally, don't like Lil Wayne and am not very fond of rap music because I can't understand what they're saying half of the time! I know I sound like somebody's grandma, but it's the truth. I went to support her because she told me that nobody really supported her when she made this decision to take job and pursue her career in dancing...which is her first love. I've known her for 6yrs and we never really talked that much. We went to the same church and everything, but when our paths crossed, then we'd speak. I told her that I'd come to support her and I even recorded her dancing and everything. To make a long story short, she was coming to NC cuz Lil Wayne is doing his summer tour and I asked her if was going to get to see her. I didn't ask for tickets because, need I reiterate, I don't care for Lil Wayne. She kept ignoring my texts and phone calls and needless to say, she said that she'll "see me around" because she thought I was using her.

She said I didn't make an attempt to come and see her when I went home to visit family in Dallas but what she wasn't aware of is that I didn't have any transportation and I DID try and get in touch with her while I was home. I just told her that I wished her the best in her career and I still loved her and supported her. It hurt me though, to know that I had been there for someone when nobody else was, and I get accused of using someone...seriously?That's the LAST thing I would want to do and I thought she knew that. But oh well, no love lost, just a lesson learned. It's almost 1am and I've got to work a 12hr shift. Trust me, there's more on my mind but it'll have to wait until another time...GNITE!

Head & Heart Conflictions

Hey! I'm finally uploading my second youtube video, in case you haven't seen it. Make sure you comment, comment, comment and subscribe k?! I'm in the process of editing my next video but I'm taking my time because I want these other two videos to get just a lil bit more attention so make sure you tell your friends and stuff k?!

I've had so much going on that I haven't written anything new but there are just so many things running through my mind that I wanna write about. I'm taking a trip to D.C. next weekend and I'm excited cuz I'm quite sure that'll get my creative juices flowing. I'm looking forward to this D.C. trip because since my husband has been gone, I haven't really gotten out of the house. I mean, I stay right here in Fayetteville. Yes, I've taken leave and stuff to go to Dallas and I even went to Vegas, but I haven't taken a road trip to visit anyone. I feel like I don't really get out so I'm glad I'm going to go see an old friend and a new friend. It's going to be nice.

Besides that, I've had a couple of thoughts running through my mind about what I wanna be when I grow up (yes, I said when I grow up :-)). Because I'm in the medical field in the military, and because of my daughter, I really want to become a speech pathologist. But at the same time, I absolutely LOVE the arts! You know how people tell you to go with your gut feeling and follow your heart? Well, what if your heart is being pulled in two different directions? What if you can't decipher because you already know whats guaranteed in life for you to succeed even though it may not grant you true happieness? I just don't know which way I wanna go right now...any suggestions?HELP!

Patience and Tenacity

Thank GOD for a day off! I've got time to update my blog. I want to share a recent experience with y'all.

Less than a week ago, I posted my first spoken word video to youtube. Within the first day, it got 100views and 7 comments. I was SOOO excited because I knew that it would continue to get more. I sent a message out to more than 800 people in a facebook group, telling them about the video...and it only got 100views...I started to get really discouraged and didn't want to upload another video because I wasn't really getting the feedback and support that I truly wanted. My soul was happy,because I was doing something I truly enjoyed, but I still felt discouraged because I wasn't getting tons of views on my video.

I was sharing these thoughts with a friends of mine from highschool, over facebook chat, and she said that she's passionate about her art too but what I have to realize is that success that comes quickly is short lived. Even though I always knew this, it was great to hear it again. I have posted my second video (which will be on here soon) to youtube and it hasn't received that many views either, but it's only been up for 2days. I guess I just got a little excited and thought I was about to skyrocket as a poet and lost focus of why I'm REALLY doing this! I'm not doing it for the fame, I'm doing it because this is what makes me happy and this is my voice. I want to reach someone, help someone, minister to someone! All of my poems may not mention God, but there's certainly no cursing. My poetry lets someone know that they're not the only person going through that situation. THAT'S why I write poetry. So I bring this entry to a close, I'll leave you with a poem I wrote when I was 13yrs old.

Poetry and Me

When I write poetry I truly understand That it flows from my heart straight into my hand All my knowledge, all I know Everything gets caught up in the flow You see poetry is my sea Containing every emotion that's held inside of me My ups and my downs Poetry keeps me sound It's my expression Of my many lessons See instead of screaming My pen starts streaming Instead of crying My pen ink is dying I don't hold nothing inside Because this is my outlet My words are so free because poetry is not set No captivity this is freedom of speech From the space above to the seat on the beach It takes me everywhere even places I haven't been But it's all easy to express because it's things my mind has seen Without the vibe of my poetry my mind would cry And in my heart and soul I'd hear the sigh Because I would be stopping them from saying what needs to be done Blocking out their rays of internal sun But this is something I'll never do Because poetry is the soulmate that you find in you. ~UnhurdChyld http://www.youtube.com/AlabasterDiva http://www.twitter.com/unhurdchyld

My Affair/Threesome

I'm sitting at home in my bed figuratively dying from literal boredom! Y'all like that lil sentence huh? Don't steal it. hehehe. I spent last night going through my FOUR different books of poems that I've written and I was trying to decide which ones I want to record and post videos of. Well, none of them seem good enough, so I guess I'll just have to write more! BUT that doesn't mean I don't have a video for you right now! This is my first spoken word video and the poem is currently untitled...I'm still waiting for something to come to me through osmosis or something! Some of you may have already seen it on youtube and some haven't. I hope that you like it!

I'm SUPER excited about all of the feedback I've been receiving and it makes this journey I'm taking soo much easier with the support of my husband! Speaking of my husband, I spoke with him last night and he told me that if we ever had a threesome, it would be me, him, and the pen. I never sleep alone.My notebook keeps me warm at night. There are so many things running through my head to write about that I can't seem to get it all out in enough time! I'm so excited about this journey God is taking me on and I hope that my poetry will help, inspire, and touch someone else out there. Much love and God Bless! Toodles!!