Unchain Your Mind | Lights, Camera, Poetic Action

I can't sleep. That can only be due to two things: 1. The Taco Bell that I had earlier 2. I need to write...let's just say that it's the latter.

I always try and keep this updated and I seem to fail miserably when my schedule picks up just a little bit. So much has (and has not) transpired in the last year:

I haven't written a new poem. I'm full of ideas and can't find the words. That's half of the reason why I haven't posted. It's hard to focus on your passion when you have to focus on surviving. Dreams don't pay the bills or fill my son's belly. I don't care what anybody says. I haven't given up on writing, I never will. I've been performing all over the island at different events and I only have one person to thank for that. God brought a woman into my life that has so many connections in Hawaii that she truly lit that fire in me to at least perform and attempt to start writing again. Because of this, I have big news,

Poetic Action is coming to Hawaii January 2015! My best friend and I co-founded Poetic Action September 2012 in Camp Casey, South Korea. We eventually expanded it to two locations in Korea (Camp Casey and Camp Humphries) and it became the largest open mic for Soldiers on the entire peninsula. Poetic Action ran for over a year and a half, although we had both left Korea. I am now proud to say that I will be starting it here on the great island of Oahu in the beginning of 2015.

I've got to write something soon though. I need to get these words out. I have way more supporters than I ever thought. My poems are getting streamed online and my fan base is increasing. I'm taking advantage of all of the opportunities that God is blessing me with. I never even thought that I would be here...I can't stop. I won't stop.

Cam wouldn't stop...RIP

"The mind is stronger than my body. God is stronger than my mind."

Unchain Your Mind | We Never Said Hello

10:36pm. My alarm will go off in 4hrs before I start another work day. I look forward to making today another yesterday. Today was a really bad day. 

I thought about "it" every single second after I left work. I wanted to write a poem about "it" but I've reached my quota on scorned poems for now.  I created distractions to avoid thinking about "it" so that I could just go to sleep and avoid the tears and regrets. But then I remember that I have responsibilities. 

I have homework. I have to bathe my kid. I have to make more CDs. I have to write a new poem for an event. I can't do this. I only want to write about what's bothering me right now..."it". I allowed this to manifest and root itself and now I don't have the strength or desire to dig it up and throw it out. I knew I should've put my pen down when I said I was!

I need to write a poem about friends; but I'm not feeling very friendly though. And then I remember her...Cam...I want to write for her. I will write for Cam. "The mind is stronger than my body. God is stronger than my mind. "

We never even said hello...

10:53pm...

Unchain Your Mind | I'll Keep My Shoes On...Thank You

I foresee some upset people if they ever read this post. But it is what it is.

I recently posted a broad, yet slightly lengthy, status on Facebook about my experience and view on friends and friendship.

Bottom line: Everybody is not meant to be your friend for a lifetime!!

People define friendship differently, so I’m not knocking them. Out of my entire toddler and adolescent years, I have only remained in constant contact with one person. We’re not best friends, we don’t talk every day, and I probably can’t even tell you the latest current events in her life. But when we pick up the phone and chat, it’s like nothing ever happened. We catch each other up, laugh at our old inside jokes, reminisce, and enjoy conversation. This is basically how it goes with the six people that I consider true friends.

While I was in high school, I hung out with the same ten girls. We had a “clique” (even though we hated that term) name and everything. They were my friends…in high school. We still communicate from time to time, but they knew the teenage me, not the adult me. I’ve grown, matured, experienced some things that they haven’t and may never have to experience, and probably developed a completely different lifestyle than what they may be used to. Who knows... My love for them hasn’t changed, but I can’t call them my friend because they don’t know me.

I would honestly risk my life for each and every one of my friends and not think twice about it because I feel like they would do the same for me. They’ve either seen me grow into the adult that I am (and lived through it with me because I’m sure I blew up their phone!), or met me after I accepted me for who I finally found myself to be and still loved me.  Don’t get it twisted, I didn’t find myself to be anything ungodly or outrageous. Life’s situations just have a way of maturing you differently, and sometimes faster, than others.

Just because you were a friend for a moment, doesn’t make you a friend forever. I outgrow people very quickly. Without judging them, I see that we just aren’t on the same page in life and I don’t feel like putting on a different hat just to talk to you everytime because I’m afraid of what you might think of me if a curse word slips out or I tell you that my best friend is gay. I don’t need someone to tell me that my love life is moving too fast, non-existent, or in need of a little spice. I love you, but I gotta love you from a distance because I can’t let the foolery and childishness get to me.

So with that being said, some people will find themselves just like they assume my love life is…non-existent. You won’t understand my life until you walk a day in my shoes. And I don’t plan on taking them off to prove anything to you.